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	©	Last Update:
	28 Dec 2002

This entire exchange was humorous enough, I thought I'd include the whole thing. See Hippyman's followup

From: Woodchuck
To: bluesky
Date: Wed, 10 Mar 1999 21:52:30 -0500 (EST)


bluesky wrote:
> At 06:15 PM 3/10/99 -0500, Woodchuck wrote:
> >Beef chuck, not 'chuck chuck... BEEF chuck...
> 
> No way! Beef is too expensive. Woodchucks have a bounty
> on them. Farmers will pay you to shoot 'em. That way

I was ready to hire a 'chuckmaster once in Maryland. A particular
grandfather 'chuck was savaging my garden. I lay for weeks in a
blind, armed with a pistol, but he never showed. I eventually gut
shot him from 200yds with a .22 rifle. I was known as "Woodchuck"
for a while around the office at the time, because of this obsession
with 'chuckicide. Having a good job, of course, and something I
humorously called a "family", I didn't have funds for a proper
weapon. That was the second time in life when I was afflicted with
chuckery, a previous instance in pre-adolescence. Now it is back
as the companion of my Greying Years. My destiny is tied to these
varmints. They are cute, though.

I think I might be a varmint of some kind. I have a varmint
world-view.

> you can pay for the premium, high quality veggies to
> go with the Mc Woodchuckling burgers.

*sigh* Bunny burgers are better, particularly if fresh-killed.
Recall the "Del's Bunny Hutch" skit(s) from Akroyd-era Sat.N.Live?


Czech Jugged Rabbit:  (Would probably work for 'chuck, too)

	Cut the forequarters of a rabbit into pieces, place in a
saucepan with butter or lard, a sprig of thyme, one sliced onion,
a piece of lemon rind and a bay leaf. Add enough water to cover
the rabbit an inch from the top, salt, cover, and stew. When the
rabbit is nearly done, take it out, strain the gravy, add to it
enough vinegar to make it sourish, add butter and flour blended
together and a small cup of grated gingerbread. Brown a teaspoon
of sugar, pour into it a little soup, and add this to the gravy.
Put the rabbit in the gravy, simmer a while and serve.

I have another yummy rodent recipe that uses TWO cups of sour cream,
if anyone's interested.

> >Woodchucks are inedible. Huggable, cuddly, playful but inedible.
> >Woodchuck flesh is toxic to hoomans in even a small serving.
> 
> Ahhh, the taste of young chucklings. I have eaten them, and they
> are as tasty as fresh-killed quail. The myth that they are toxic
> reminds me of the 17th century myth that tomatoes are poisonous.
> Of course, like any other meat, you have to send the old grizzled
> specimens off to be used in medical experiments :->>

Hmm, at some point in every flame war, I get to say "Nazi", right?

> >It is very bad luck to kill a woodchuck.
> >Woodchucks are an endangered species.
> >Ask us about our Adopt-a-'Chuck 2000 program.
> >Hurt a 'chuck, go to jail.
> 
> You have been indoctrinated by the Klinton-borg for too
> long. You are using drug and gun rhetoric.
> Bad 'chuck. Bad, Bad 'chuck!

I hoped it would work on others. "If it saves just one woodchuck..."

> >This message brought to you by the Burrow of Propaganda.

I thought this was cute and witty.

> >"Stamp out varmint hunting!"

CHS has flamed me for this, too. I hope the recipe makes amends.

> I tried to stomp on varmints. They kept dodging. A Remington
> with scope sighted at 200 yds is better.

Damn, just when it was safe to get my mail without my cute little
Scotch-plaid Kevlar 'chuck vest, another varmint hunter shows up
in town...

Ever "hunt" armadillo? They can be made into attractive baskets, I hear.
Need to use small-bore FMJ to avoid ruining the shell.

Dave
-- 
                    No wife, no horse, no .sig